Saturday, March 29, 2014

Face(book)-off: Penis Feelings


Facebook Friend:
it takes a lot of concentration and a sick mind, it's not as easy as you think [sic]

Reply:
We're not talking tantric masturbation here, buddy; or rather, Buddha. The ol' "pull till it's full"© (just made that up) usually works quite perfectly. Well, unless there's another problem at hand.

See what I did there?

FF:
so a man is just a cum bag full of semen waiting to be milked and if he cant there is something wrong with him? you little sexist.... or maybe im just a broken man [sic]

Reply:
Well, that was certainly a delightful - and not at all disturbing - description of the male sex. If that's what you gleaned, all by your brilliant self, from what I said; then yes, assuming you're a broken man would in all probability be a fair assessment.

FF2:
Well for some men it takes longer then a few seconds *insert manly throathclearing*. Also those words are mocking the poor men who dont have a 100% succes rate whom there are surely one or two somewhere. [sic]

Reply:
*Crickets*

Well, I certainly didn't intend for anyone to get butt - or penis - hurt over a seemingly innocuous "Kloke Ord" quote; but there you go - penis hurt happens. I'll be more careful next time, and uncomfortably put Someone Somewhere's potentially sensitive insensitive slow(to)poke penis in the back of my mind. Will do, Chris Ruffin!

FF2:
Well i wouldnt call it slow poke penis rather an enduring one. Secondly i though we agreed on that you dont think of my male member too much but well anything that helps you getting up that succes rate for women is fine by me. [sic]

Reply:
Slowpoking, "enduring;" tomato, tomatoe. Ah, so *you're* the Someone Somwhere that you were referring to? Why, [FF2], why didn't you just say so? No fear, young buddy, the only time you and the term "male member" pop up in the same breath or thought, is when I think or speak of/about The Awesome People Club. Well, up until just now of course. Now they may also appear together when I think or speak of/about the Someone Somewhere's Slowpoke Penis Club; but you seem confident about that, so obviously, no worries there either. Thank you for supporting my cause, [FF2]. Pray for progress, my friend, pray for progress.

FF3:
Poking my nose into the room....hmm i smell penis envy. [sic]

Reply:
Why am I not shocked that your nose smells (like) both penis and envy? Maybe it's your upper lip.

FF3:
I only smellt envy in the room and mind you i think you are the expert on how penises smell up close.. But i salute this well played zing. [sic]

Reply:
*Grins knowingly* Mhm. Sure, bro, whatever you say. *Nose tap* *Wink*

Expert on how a penis smells up-close, you say? Well, it's been a while since I last hung around a dick; so I'm sad to say, the smell eludes me. But perhaps you could refresh my olfactory memory; what was your favorite cologne again?

Why, thank you, [FF3]. Salutation appreciated. *Bows*