Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Rocknrolla: The Slap One Must Master

Archy: Bandy, you ever ask a stupid question like that again, see Danny there? He's gonna slap you.
Bandy: Sorry Arch, I was, I was just trying to use initiative.
Archy: Danny, slap him.
[Danny slaps Bandy]
Archy: With the right, Danny, properly.
[Danny slaps Bandy]
Archy: No, no, no, no. Come on, do it properly, with the back of the right hand.
Danny: What is this, a tennis match, Arch?
Archy: Slap him.
[Danny slaps Bandy]
Archy: [muttering angrily] For fuck's sake...Like this. [slaps Bandy] Now if you can master a slap like that, there's no need for your clients to hold back. They will open up like a fountain, full of words. No need for strong violence, no; they're transported back to their childhoods. Look at him. Thinks he's back at school. [Bandy is biting his lip childishly]
Danny: But he never went to school, Arch.
Archy: What, you want a slap too, Danny? Now, if a slap don't work, you cut 'em or you pay 'em, but you keep your receipts, cos this ain't the Mafia.