Wednesday, July 13, 2011

How To Evoke Empathy

"Watch Out For The Stiff One-Eye

It ain't easy being a dick. I've got a head I can't think with, an eye I can't see out of, I hang around two nuts all day, my neighbour is a real asshole, my best friend is a pussy, and everytime I get excited, I throw up, but worst of all - my owner beats me".

"Watch out for The Stiff One-Eye! AAUGH!"
"Eat this! Much love, The Stiff One-eye. (Eat my cream balls!)"

After being terrorized with drawings of erected penises taped to his food, closet, wall, blackboard and door, with the warning "Watch Out For The Stiff One-Eye" written on them, frustrated and defeated, he finally stated; "I feel like it's everywhere, the stiff one-eye".

Now you know how I feel, bitch.