Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Jang Ja Yeon Tragedy: 31 Dirty Scoundrels

On March 7th, Mir tweeted, “Those 31 dirty scoundrels must have daughters too, right? It angers me to think that they’d be having dinner with their daughters as if everything is fine.”

The message is suspected to be in response to the letter that SBS ‘8pm News’ reported on March 6th; the letter was personally written by Jang Ja Yeon and said she was forced to host and offer sex services to 31 men over 100 times. SBS News reported that the letter said, “I had no way to get out of the situation. The men who came for me are the devils. Whenever I put on new clothes, I had to meet another devil.”

It is absolutely never ever - in any way - the victim's fault, no matter what kind of person she or he was, what clothes she/he wore or how much or how "little" she/he fought. Abuse is such a complex thing that it's hard for anyone to really grasp unless they've witnessed it firsthand. There are so many factors that play into what happens during any kind of abuse, most of them psychological, and that - unfortunately - makes it hard for a lot of people to really understand because they cannot physically see it. And albeit it's not visible to the naked eye, it's as important as any visible bruise nonetheless.

Actually, it's THE most important component. A victim's psychological state following all types of trauma plays the most crucial part in recovery, especially in survival alone. And the psychological torment experienced during and after emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse is so grave and deeply profound that it often leaves the victim distraught in such a degree that they are in great risk of serious depressions, PTSD and suicide following the abuse. That which of course is highly influenced by support system and treatment after and for the abuse. If there's a lack of one or both, the risks are greater, are one or both present, the risks are then of course lower.

And from what I've read, this girl experienced extensive abusive repeatedly by several abusers over a longer period of time, excluded from the much needed support system around for her to speak up before it was too late. And not only were there several abusers, but also powerful ones. A suicide was almost inevitable in this case.

There are often people bold enough to state that suicide is a cowardly way out, but they are sadly mistaken. Suicide is not a rational action, it goes against any animal's instinct, suicide is a paradox. A paradox because it's something that is done to save oneself. As you've seen before, when caught in a fire in a tall tower, you jump out the window to escape, not die. Last resort. And this case is no different, that is what she did. She tried to save herself, and when you know this, that there was no other option, no other door to open and run out of, that is all you need to know to understand "how", because "why" should now be obvious. And that is her and everyone else's tragedy.

I applaud Mir for standing and speaking up about this, a lot of people wouldn't, but everyone should. Especially celebrities, because the world is listening, so when you speak, speak from the heart. And I'm glad to see that Mir has a good one.

If anyone who read this have experienced anything similar, please know that it's not your fault and it never will be. And keep fighting, because that's the only way to win a battle. Even if it's against your own mind, telling you to give up. Keep fighting, because you're not fighting alone.

- Annie