Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I would be the perfect gentleman.

Envision this:
It's cold out, but a beautiful night with twinkling stars all over the sky - reflected in the river not far from here. It's a blue moon. And there I am, the perfect gentleman. Stopping a damsel, taking my hat off, bowing slightly (and in a subtle manner flaunting my excellent cane - no sexual innuendo intended. Yes. Really.) while looking upwards with a charming crooked smile:
"Salutations, my fair lady. May I come with the preposterous suggestion of you promenading the river with me? It may seem obscene coming from a perfect stranger, but I assure you, miss, it will leave you flabbergasted".
But if you have to cross a puddle, and refuse to walk around it, I've only got this to say:
use your own damn jacket to cover it.
I already got one jacket stolen, and I'll be damned if I'll use the one I've got left to help your lazy ass.
Hey, just sayin'.
The perfect gentleman, indeed.