Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Pizza Incident

About almost a year ago, a friend of mine celebrated his birthday by going out for some pizza and bowling. Okay, that's normal. Nothing to comment on that area. Mmm... no. Totally normal. But what isn't normal, was something that happened while bowling that evening. A friend of his, whom I'd just met, decided to sit down with me for, what I thought would be, a normal conversation. Now, we had all ordered our own pizzas, which we would eat separately, and out comes the waiter with our pizzas. My pizza, his pizza, their pizza - but no "our pizza". All right, so the pizza was handed out to us all, he got his, I got mine, and I was about to eat, reaching out for my first slice of delicious pizza, when I suddenly observed his hand reaching across the table and towards my pizza. Now, to really get the picture, I want you to visualize the setting;
we’re sitting across from each other, with each of our pizza, which we ordered, at our place - right in front of us. And this guy, this fucking maniac, starts eating out of mine! Wtf?! What the fuck just happened here?! No "Can I take slice?", no "Do you mind?", not even a "I'll just take some of your pizza whether you like it or not".

What... the... fuck?

Did I miss something here? Was there a sign on my forehead saying "Yes, please do take all of my food without asking. That's not weird at all. Totally fine. Totally normal"? I was in shock. In utter awe. Was this really happening? Is this even possible? I started feeling crazy, 'cause I must have missed something... hadn't I? The pizzas must have been meant to share among us all. I scouted through the area, looking at the others, not getting any kind of confirmation of my desperate theory, trying to make this guy look sane. Nopes. Everyone was eating their own. Damn. Pizzas. And this guy started to eat from his own pizza, after finishing half of mine, like nothing had happened. And through the entire incident, he had continued the conversation, totally unaffected by the situation and the look of confusion and shock badly hidden in my face.

Now, tell me...


What is that?



Chosen Quotes, 12. november 2008

Forteller om de forskjellige kategoriene på (den gamle) bloggen:
- [...] The Observation Blog of Peculiar Things.
- Ja, sånn Seinfeld-opplegg?
- Ja, du vet hvordan jeg er. Legger merke til alle de rare tingene som mennesker og personer gjør. Foreløpig så har jeg tre ting jeg skal skrive om; "The Paradox that is [...]", som skal handle om hvordan du rigorously vasker hendene dine, men allikevel legger beina på bordet og lar tåneglene vokse til det uendelige.
- *ler*
- Og så er det "The Personal Invader", men er ikke helt sikker på navnet ennå. Skal i hvert fall være om den gangen Conrad bare forsynte seg av pizzaen min uten å spørre, uten så mye som å blunke. Jeg ble seriøst sjokkert. Helt satt ut. "Hva faen er det han driver med?" Tenkte jeg.
- Kanskje han trodde dere delte pizzaen.
- Ehh - nei. Det var TO pizzaer som vi bestilte hver for oss. Én til oss hver. Én til ham, én til meg. Det gikk seriøst i slow fucking motion når han STRAKK seg over bordet, og tok av pizzaen min. Hadde det vært et overvåkningskamera der, så kunne du ha sett forvirringen i trynet mitt. Jeg ble helt satt ut. Jeg begynte seriøst å tro at vi delte pizza.
- Sa du noe?
- Nei. Hva skulle jeg si? Var helt satt ut. Jeg bare forsatte å være med i samtalen, men inne i meg var munnen min vid åpen.
- *ler* "Inne i meg var munnen min vid åpen"! Kanskje det bare var en feil.
- En feil? Tro meg, det var ikke en feil. Han tok ikke én bit. Han tok HALVPARTEN av pizzaen min! Og så begynte han å forsyne seg av sin egen. For det er ikke det at det er hans pizza eller vår pizza. Nei, det er min pizza - han bare tar av den. Hva faen?!